# Self Sufficiency/Living off the Land or Off the Grid > Cooking, Food Storage, & Preserving >  Emergency! Emergency!

## kyratshooter

An extreme emergency of the first magnitude occurred at the Krat house today.  No more serious SHTF incident will ever occur and immediate measures had to be taken. 

At about 5pm the Krat walked to the kitchen counter, pressed the button on the coffee maker, walked away and waited the necessary 5 minutes returned to get my coffee and, HORRORS!!!, nothing happened!

The pot was empty and cold!  

I checked the plug, checked the switch, looked at the little red light as it set there staring at me with its blank red stare.

Hamilton Beech had rolled over and died.

Now the Krat will avoid a trip to town with extreme and excessive evasion.  I will bake my own bread to avoid going to the grocery.  I will take cold showers for two days to save a trip to the Home Depot for a new hot water heater.  I have been known to tape up a cut with duct tape to skip the 20 mile run to the ER.

But when I realized the Hamilton Beech was dead I immediately unplugged it, dumped the water from it into the sink and slam dunked the dead unit into the wheelie bin as I walked to the car for the trip to Walmart for an immediate replacement! 

As I went through the checkout I explained the situation to the young lady working the register.  She looked at me flat dead serious and replied "My Mom came down here at 1am in her house coat and flip flops the other night when hers broke.  I was so embarrassed I could have died!"

At least I had clothes on.

----------


## alaskabushman

I'm rather surprised you didn't just brew a pot anyway with a sock and a zip-tie...

----------


## LowKey

^ hah! This!

You don't keep a stovetop perker for such emergencies???
Coffee first. Then the trip to Wally's.

----------


## edr730

I put hot water from the wood stove on my coffee and pour through a collander. Much faster than a coffee maker and much cleaner than a french press. I dread when spring comes and I have to use the coffee maker. All that work setting up the coffee maker and walking all the way to the kitchen.

----------


## hunter63

That surprises me as well.....But I can relate....LOL The horror!

There is always an enameled coffee pot around somewhere to "boil me up a batch"....
But, Yeah I know,.... that would mean digging around in one of the rondy trailers....looking for it...with out coffee.

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## kyratshooter

Oh yes I have the 32 cup pot and two or three one quart pots along with the Moors pot I keep in the kitchen but the coffee maker is for wake up coffee.

you do not want me messing with dangerous machinery, open flames or measuring coffee in the mornings.  It is best if I simply push a button and wait for the machine to do the work when I wake up.

The possibility that I might have to think about what I am doing when I wake up at the crack of noon was the big motivation factor.

----------


## fjrmurph

reminds me , I was in a tower crane 200 ft in the air , went to make a pot of coffee . No coffee filters , I looked over the side a couple of times but I didn't jump , I remembered I had toilet paper , I used the TP as a filter . It was a ****ty cup of coffee !!!

----------


## crashdive123

> reminds me , I was in a tower crane 200 ft in the air , went to make a pot of coffee . No coffee filters , I looked over the side a couple of times but I didn't jump , I remembered I had toilet paper , I used the TP as a filter . It was a ****ty cup of coffee !!!


Well duh.  You are supposed to use the FRESH toilet paper.

----------


## LowKey

LOL too funny Crash.  Caught me in mid-sip.
<coffee running out nose now...

----------


## hunter63

The count, 2 strikes 3 balls......and the pitch ...crack..... it going, going, Gooone..It's out of here...
Man, could you see that coming ...or what?

----------


## kyratshooter

OK now I am confused.  

If you use it in the coffee maker first do you let the TP dry before the next step.  If not things are going to be a bit soggy.  

Is that where the term bog roll originated?

----------


## crashdive123

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## 1stimestar

Lol I would totally go to Wal Mart in my housecoat for coffee.  

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## crashdive123

Happens all the time around here.......but of course it isn't -50.

----------


## Old GI

krs:  All of our sympathy and commiseration.  A death of something so dear takes some recovery; I found returning from Walmart normally does it.  But, we do keep spares.

----------


## Solar Geek

We have 5 types of coffee pots so this never happens to us. My deepest sympathies  for the experience, and great joy at your new favorite way to make coffee from Walmart.

----------


## hunter63

Seems many can relate.....

We have  stores around  called "Big Lots".....kinda a higher end Dollar Store?.....
Has appliances, sofas garde stuff, canned food, that oddest selection of flavored chips you have ever seen....

Supposedly all stuff on clearance.... That where I get my 8 flashlights for $10 bucks kind of stuff.....

From time to time the have coffee makers for $9.99....

Few years back I bought 5 of them.....one for the house, one for the camper, one for "The Place"
....and a one for bringing to hotel rooms on hunting trips (made a cute carry case for it)....those little two cuppers won't make it with 4 hunters filling thermoses.
 ....and a spare.

Anyway...they were only a  on/off, no timer,bare bones 12cup coffee makers..... but the whole thing was cheaper that a new pot for a Mr.Coffee.

You are supposed to dump out the grounds for year to year, I guess (OMG)...but a couple did get trashed from packing them up for a year or getting bounced around.....
Right now I could go down to the shed...at "The Place...there is one in it's box, inside a plastic bag on on a shelf....spare.

Also there is a percolator that we got as a wedding gift 49 years ago....still works...but some times you buy new stuff ...just because...?

Everyone DRIBBLES so are used over the sink...
The quest for a non-dribbler goes on....
But we are prepared. 

I would rather have a coffee maker than more ammo in the prep department....because I don't need bullets first thing in the morning if some one messes with me before coffee......

----------


## hayshaker

can't get much worse than that ,my deepest sympathies krat, i too have been there.
hang in there brother.

----------


## crashdive123

Let's see..........at the house....A Keurig is our current go to coffee source, but also in the cabinet is a French press, small drip pot and one percolator.  In the workshop is another percolator.  In the truck are two more percolators.  Two more percolators in the storage unit.  Upon review, I may need to stock up on some more.

----------


## Rick

The very good news is we live in a wondrous world. How easy it is to stop at Starbucks on the way to Walmart to pick up an unpronounceable cup of joe. You can pick up one of those 8 hour energy drinks while at Walmart then swing by one of the many fast food horrors to pick up another cup of coffee on the way home. You will need that much caffeine to get the packing tape off the new coffee maker.

I do not understand how shoplifters can get away with merchandise when it takes me three days to tear into one of those plastic packages. They are even bullet proof. I know. I've tried.

----------


## hayshaker

yeah but what if america just ran out of coffee, what would we do.
morning without coffee is unamerican it's unthinkable imagine
the whole US would break into zombie like fits if we did'nt have
that morning FIX, it would get ugly real fast indeed.

yeah i could see it now approaching some shady figure
in some alley the goes pssst i got the joe 100% arbica jamaica blend.
you get sweatty palms and n say how much, he replies a hundred bucks.
ok i'll take it, and he pulls out a little sandwich baggie, and with grubby paws
you snatch up the bag, delutions of granduer swim in you head.
you make your way home out of the inner city (ghetto) to the burbs to drink
that dark brew we call coffee.

----------


## hunter63

I breaking news.....
"Wifi has gone out at Starbuck all over the world...no advanced order, easy pass, oder processing and credit  card service....or in store wifi and cell service....
Rioting in the streets....."
Officials say.
"These are a bunch of really grumpy people, folks.....stay home a lock your doors..."

----------


## Rick

And that is how the Zombie Apocalypse will start.

----------


## hayshaker

i knew it ,even rick agrees with me
take away that cup of joe
and all bets are off.

----------


## laurelsantos

Emergencies are inevitable but we could always be ready for it. One of the most vital things to prepare is food. *******************

----------


## crashdive123

Geeze.....it wasn't even a link to spam.

----------


## hunter63

And everyone wonders why we have been going 4 pages of Zippo fluid....LOL....
Troll tosses have been in short supply.....LOL
Nice job..

----------


## kyratshooter

How rude!

Interrupting our thread on coffee with a link to sell food, as if food were more important than coffee!

Some folks need to brush up on their social skills and realize their side job is not more important than good manners.

----------


## Wildthang

Krat Rick had a good point! You should have stopped at Starbucks and ordered a Vente Caramel Mocha Locha Choka with Low fat Milk and 2 shots of expresso, and the trip to Wally World would have been much better!

----------


## crashdive123

> Krat Rick had a good point! You should have stopped at Starbucks and ordered a Vente Caramel Mocha Locha Choka with Low fat Milk and 2 shots of expresso, and the trip to Wally World would have been much better!


Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## Old GI

DW issued a mandate of no caffeine due to health issues.  Initial agony has subsided but I still have decaf tea in the morning as decaf coffee was terrible.

----------


## Old Professor

I just can not relate to all you coffee addicts!  I have  drunk exactly three (3) cups of coffee in the last 50 years! And two of those were this winter at a coffee bar in my favorite restaurant.   Now I am not anti-coffee, I just do not like the taste, no matter what you mix into it. I do like the smell of perking coffee. that is a pleasant aroma to wakeup to.

----------


## hunter63

Didn't care for coffee at all growing up.....
First cup was given to me on a cold rainy day....was out side directing lines of other kids as a "Patrol Boy".
Thisl it was a inoculation day at the small town court house....Where all the kids got their shots.

Lady handed me a cup of coffee that was mostly milk and sugar....I suppose because I was a kid 10-11(?) years old.

That stuff was terrible....and never thought about it again for along time.
Much later at work(everyone had a cup).... and tasted "black coffee"....Have been a black coffee fan ever since.

No Flapa Choka stuff for me....reminds me of that first "Nasty Cup"

----------


## crashdive123

> I just can not relate to all you coffee addicts!  I have  drunk exactly three (3) cups of coffee in the last 50 years! And two of those were this winter at a coffee bar in my favorite restaurant.   Now I am not anti-coffee, I just do not like the taste, no matter what you mix into it. I do like the smell of perking coffee. that is a pleasant aroma to wakeup to.


Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## hayshaker

i second that here here

----------


## Rick

where, where?

----------


## kyratshooter

There! There!

Now swallow this spoonful of instant and slug down this glass of water.

----------


## ChuckDT

Ha! Reminds me of the few times I've put the moka pot on the stove only to come back and not have any coffee. Didn't put any water in the bottom! Guess I was still asleep.

----------


## Lamewolf

Now the Krat will avoid a trip to town with extreme and excessive evasion. I will bake my own bread to avoid going to the grocery. I will take cold showers for two days to save a trip to the Home Depot for a new hot water heater.<snip>

If the water is "hot water" what do you need a heater for ? :Wacko:

----------


## hunter63

> Now the Krat will avoid a trip to town with extreme and excessive evasion. I will bake my own bread to avoid going to the grocery. I will take cold showers for two days to save a trip to the Home Depot for a new hot water heater.<snip>
> 
> If the water is "hot water" what do you need a heater for ?


Psssst...
Normal people call them that...a service tech or plumber calls it a water heater.....unless they are making a funny....LOL
Picky, Picky, Picky.....
Bazinga

PS was working in my shed at "The Place".....
Old percolator and a cheapo coffee maker still on the shelf...in boxes and plastic bags.
So still good on spares.

----------


## Rick

He's had one of them for quite a while. 

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## bushcraft_project

> He's had one of them for quite a while. 
> 
> Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.


thats a beaut!

----------


## Rick

Yeah, he plugs that and the Karaoke machine in and all the lights south of Milwaukee go dim.

----------


## hunter63

Check out the plug.....that is beauty......

This looks like the one wrapped up in the shed....
I know for a fact that it is at least 49 years old...as it was a wedding gift.

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## madmax

My darn laptop needs one of those springy things on the power cord.  Have you priced those!

----------


## hunter63

> My darn laptop needs one of those springy things on the power cord.  Have you priced those!


Yeah....no ship......pricy little units.....
Aappliance cords can some time be found in the "dig around in.. box" at Goodwill

----------


## tundrabadger

Had my first cup of coffee when I was 14....which, incidentally,  since I'm a foot taller now than I was at the time,  I am here to tell you that it doesn't actually stunt your growth .  Might be be nice if it did, tall size shirts are an absolute bear to find.   Have not looked back since,  I totally would have done the abrupt wal mart trip, although since there are at least two timmies between here and there I probably would have stopped off for a cup to fortify myself before going in.

----------


## Rick

Well, yeah, but you would have been two feet taller if you hadn't drank it. Just sayin'.....

----------


## crashdive123

They said coffee would stunt my growth.......so I switched to beer.


Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## tundrabadger

> Well, yeah, but you would have been two feet taller if you hadn't drank it. Just sayin'.....


Well, that would have been really inconvenient.   I'm probably better off.

----------


## Rick

Well, yeah. None of your clothes would fit.

----------


## tundrabadger

> Well, yeah. None of your clothes would fit.


And I would whack my head on even more door frames and low ceilings.

----------


## crashdive123

See that!  Right there is proof positive that coffee is good for you.

----------


## tundrabadger

> See that!  Right there is proof positive that coffee is good for you.


Spread the word far and wide.   Some dude on the internet told you.  It must be true.

----------


## Rick

You...uh...you do know that you can duck going through doors, right? At least you don't have my problem. 

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

----------


## NightSG

French press is the easiest solution that also happens to be multipurpose.  Now if I could just find one that's lightweight, not fragile and not ridiculously priced, all at the same time.

----------


## edr730

NightSG, a french press is hot water, coffee and a screen. If you have something that will hold the hot water and coffee, you just need to pour it through a screen. Those little hand held kitchen collanders or screens work and so do those baskets you put in your drip coffee maker that replace the paper filters

----------


## BarryRoss

> Lol I would totally go to Wal Mart in my housecoat for coffee.  
> 
> Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.


agree with you

----------

