# General > General Chat >  We Got Bad News and Need Your Prayers.

## Rick

My wife had a seizure Thursday afternoon. It appeared she was having a stroke and after many hours, many tests and two hospitals we found out she has a malignant brain tumor. While bad, there is a lot of optimistic news with it. It is operable and the location of the tumor means there won't be any lasting issues from the surgery. The tumor is very near the surface in the right temporal lobe. They think it's a primary tumor meaning it didn't come from some place else. The surgeon said it would be rare if it did. However, they did a body scan yesterday just to be on the safe side. We have not received the results of the scan yet nor do we know when the surgery is scheduled but the way the were talking probably this coming week. The surgeon is nationally recognized and St. Vincents is a top rated neuro/surgical facility. So we feel pretty lucky that things are as good as they are. It could certainly be much worse. She's currently home and on steroids and anti seizure meds. All in all, doing pretty well but she obviously has a long road ahead. Once they do the surgery they will biopsy the tumor. Then they will know the exact type of cancer, the prognosis and the course of treatment she'll need. Right now we're focusing on the positive, taking it one day at a time and leaning a lot the big guy. Your thoughts and prayers would really be appreciated. 

We had so many good things in the fire. She had retired in March and was approached last month to start work at another company. She was supposed to start on 9/17. I had also been approached about doing some inspection work for a contract telephone company. It's amazing how much in your life comes to a screeching halt when something like this happens. It sure puts everything else in glaring perspective. Obviously more to come and I'll keep you posted. If I'm AWOL a bit it's because I'm with her.

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## crashdive123

She and you will be in our thoughts and prayers.

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## canid

In mine also.

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## hunter63

Wow that is indeed some heavy news.......

As we have had had to circle that wagons ourselves in the last couple of years....That's what you do....Now is when family is most important.

You all are in our thoughts a prayers.....

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## randyt

God Bless!!!

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## Mattkg

So sorry to hear keeping you in our thoughts

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## madmax

Listen Chief.  Got a good friend who made it through twice with prayers.  Your girl is on our prayer list... Everyday.

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## 1stimestar

Oh gosh Rick, I'm so sorry.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you both.  We'll watch for news from you.

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## kyratshooter

Rick, if you need anything let me know.  

I am only a couple or three hours away with no big time consuming responsibilities or plans.

I know you probably have family to rely on but if you need me get in touch.

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## Sarge47

Rick, 1st let me say that I can relate!  Prayers offered up!  2nd, this is really getting bad.  I just found out that a woman that started bus Driver training the same day I did passed away last night from cancer!  Crazy!!!  Hang in there buddy!... :Cowboy:

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## WolfVanZandt

My prayers are with you.

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## 2dumb2kwit

Thoughts and prayers, for you and her, rick.

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## tundrabadger

You can add me to the list of people praying too, Rick.  Bless you both.

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## Williepete

Sorry to hear the news Rick.  Prayers heading your way.  I feel good about the outcome, as I know St Vincent's reputation.  

Bill

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## DSJohnson

Praying for your wife, you and all of your family Rick.

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## Adventure Wolf

Best of luck Rick! Your family will be in my prayers.

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## Grizzlyette Adams

Wow, what a mix of bad news - good news - bad news - good news...whew! It must've felt like a roller coaster ride. 

Prayers and good wishes for your sweetie and you...and some more for Sarge and his sweetie too.



.

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## Solar Geek

Rick, although everyone on here is always in my prayers, I will specially mention your wife and your family. I will also put her on my world wide prayer group who pray around the clock.

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## Pennsylvania Mike

My thoughts and prayers will be with you both.

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## Rick

What a great bunch of folks and community you all are. But of course we knew that already didn't we? Thank you everyone. Your support and prayers mean more than you know.

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## Winnie

My thoughts and heartfelt prayers sent winging across the water to your good lady wife, yourself and the family.

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## Phaedrus

Smoke sent!  I'll be thinking good thoughts. Bad news but good luck to catch it hopefully before it can spread.

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## sjj

Thoughts and prayers going out.

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## Batch

You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers as well Rick.

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## Seniorman

Rick, I am very sorry to hear of your wife's medical problems.  Best wishes and prayers on the way.

S.M.

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## LowKey

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife, Rick.

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## Rick

We shared the news with our kids and grand kids today. For a number of reasons today was the best day to do so. We explained the situation in detail and reinforced over and over they they should not be afraid to talk about it or ask questions. We encouraged them to be very open. This is life. There are hills and sometimes mountains that we encounter and we simply face them and keep moving. The worst thing is to pretend it isn't happening. It was a good discussion. A shock to them, obviously, but we had a good dialogue. She's a strong woman with a positive outlook. She told them she had three babies without anesthesia so she was pretty sure she could handle this. The gal's got guts.

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## natertot

Thoughts and prayers to you guys. These things are never easy, no matter how optimistic they appear. I'm rooting for her!

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## oldsoldier

Rick
 just saw your post. You and the Mrs. are in our prayers and if it's okay with you we'll add you to the church prayer chain.

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## Rick

Of course it is and thank you.

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## Williepete

Rick, somewhere in these posts was a comment of HOPE.  There is always hope.  I have been through so much in the last twelve years, before that I would have said 'no way', but here I am.  I survived three heart attacks within 36 hrs, after smoking heavy for close to sixty years, survived lung cancer and so far am cancer free for three years now.  A friend from church told me after the heart attacks, that God must have a plan for me yet, even through I feel lucky to be alive, and again after the cancer which I barely made it through, we just don't know.
There is always hope, some times it's just hard to see when we are over loaded with our problems.  Bottom line, keep a stiff upper lip, and every thing will come out ok.
I still remember one evening when I was nursing my late wife, she asked me why I was being so nice to her, and I said I love you, and the wedding vows said, for better or worse. Well some times it gets a little worse, and other times it's just plain great.

Bill

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## Grizz123

Sorry to hear that!!

Prayers on the way

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## COWBOYSURVIVAL

Rick,

My family will keep yours in our prayers. Wishing your wife a speedy recovery and strength to you my friend.

CS

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## Winter

You and your family have my prayers Rick.

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## oldsoldier

> Of course it is and thank you.


 Done.. Will make the phone calls tonight.

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## BornthatWay

Rick prayers of healing and patience for you and your wife. Sorry I have been out of the loop to not see this until now.

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## Wise Old Owl

Rick prayers of healing and patience for you and your wife. Sorry to hear about this.... I have been very quiet as I have been going thru the same thing with my dad since February. Cancer of the bladder. I am not well known here, but my thoughts are with you... Give it time... This is going to be an emotional roller coaster for both of you. Above all, lots of hugs, support, and keep it very positive, & remember to smile. 

My dad - is in remission and still giving stuff away, very depressed after making it thru. Feel free for a sounding board, seen it all now.

Woo

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## nell67

Rick, you and Mrs Rick are in my prayers also. So sorry it took me so long to add my prayers to the list.  If you need anything, you know we are here for you.

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## MrFixIt

Prayers sent for you both.

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## Davidlastink

Prayers going out for your wife and yourself. Just remember to take care of yourself too. Running yourself ragged helps neither of you. Be strong mate.

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## Desert Rat!

Thoughts and Prayers for you and your family Rick, I wish you Hope and Strength in the coming days.

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## pgvoutdoors

Rick - I'm so very sorry to hear about the Mrs. health issues.  I'll pray for her, you, and the family.  The both of you are such great people, God bless you both.

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## chiggersngrits

Sorry to here that Rick. Hope everything works out. Three years ago I was told I had a tumor on my spinal cord. I had surgery and ten days later was waiting to start chemo. When the doc came in and said it was a noncancerous tumor and no chemo or radiation. What a relief. Will keep ya'll in my prayers.

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## Mischief

You are both in my prayers and I know your support will go a long way with her recovery.

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## Ken

I'm saddened to read this news, Rick.  Take heart in knowing that medical science has made incredible advances in recent years.  In the fall of 2013, I received back to back news that a family member and a very close friend had both been diagnosed with brain tumors.  Each of them underwent major brain surgery, and the prognosis for both is excellent today. Hang in there, my friend.  Your wife, you, and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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## Wildthang

Thoughts and prayers for you and your wife Rick. I am so glad that there is at least some good chance that she will get through this with hopefully no lasting affects!

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## Rick

My wife had surgery Wednesday and the news is not good. They were able to remove about 90% of the tumor. We have to wait on the pathology report on the tumor but the surgeon is sure it's a glioblastoma. That's a highly invasive form of cancer and there is no cure. We spoke with the radiation oncologist yesterday and she'll begin radiation five days a week for six weeks beginning in about two weeks. They have to wait until she's healed from the surgery. We are seeing the chemo oncologist this morning. Average life expectancy is 14.6 months. At some point they will have to stop treatment because you can only take so much chemo and radiation. At that point the tumors always return. Everyone is different. We know one person with the same diagnosis that has lived close to 5 years. So we're taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best. 

Thank you all for your well wishes and your prayers. You don't know how much it is appreciated.

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## madmax

Sorry Rick.  Y'all are on my prayer list.

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## ClayPick

Just about everyday I sit and watch the sun come up and plan my day. This morning I'm thinking about how special life really is. The way I see it, no day should be wasted. I will hope for the best outcome for your wife. You have a good bunch to help you carry the load and I am wishing you all the best.

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## natertot

Rick, I have no words. Just know that my heart aches for you and your family and I am praying for y'all.

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## BENESSE

I only just now saw this thread and am deeply saddened that you are both going through this very challenging time. You will both be in my daily prayers with good thoughts and virtual hugs sent along the way. God _and_ medicine work in mysterious ways and may hope and trust in both sustain you and keep your spirits high.

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## hunter63

That's not the news everyone wanted to hear....all of you are in our thoughts and prayers.

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## Winnie

I honestly don't kow what to say. But know if I could take it all away and make things better, I would in a heartbeat.

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## Faiaoga

I hope for the best outcome for your wife, you and your family

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## MrFixIt

Continued prayers for your wife Rick, and you as well.

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## Batch

Sorry to hear the news Rick. You are in my thoughts.

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## 1stimestar

My thoughts and prayers are with you both Rick.

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## Ken

I'm keeping you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers, Rick.  If there's anything we can do to help, we're only a phone call away.

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## WolfVanZandt

Not much I can say, but I'm watching the thread and keeping ya'll in my prayers.

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## pgvoutdoors

So sorry to hear results like that Rick, prayers go out.  One day at a time is the best way to go, may God bless you and her.

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## Old Professor

Just saw this this thread, Rick. my prayers are with you and your wife. I just went through a similar health crisis and when I was Deeply Deprerssed, God answered my prayer with a good prognosis. Hold tight to your faith, Rick. Many here are praying for you both.

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## Jeslyn

I'm an oncology nurse and let me just say my heart truly goes out to you and your wife. You have a long journey ahead and she will need your strength to carry her through. Prayers.


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## 1stimestar

> My wife had surgery Wednesday and the news is not good. They were able to remove about 90% of the tumor. We have to wait on the pathology report on the tumor but the surgeon is sure it's a glioblastoma. That's a highly invasive form of cancer and there is no cure. We spoke with the radiation oncologist yesterday and she'll begin radiation five days a week for six weeks beginning in about two weeks. They have to wait until she's healed from the surgery. We are seeing the chemo oncologist this morning. Average life expectancy is 14.6 months. At some point they will have to stop treatment because you can only take so much chemo and radiation. At that point the tumors always return. Everyone is different. We know one person with the same diagnosis that has lived close to 5 years. So we're taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best. 
> 
> Thank you all for your well wishes and your prayers. You don't know how much it is appreciated.


Rick, did you get the pathology report yet?  My continued thoughts and prayers.

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## Phaedrus

I'm sorry the news isn't better Rick.  Still, so long as we live there is always hope.  Sometimes hope is the best medicine we have.  I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts.

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## Rick

> did you get the pathology report yet?




We have not received the "official" report back yet. My guess is it will be later this week. The surgeon said they normally have it in one week to 10 days so that would be tomorrow (Wednesday) or later. 

I am not one to sit on my laurels and just accept whatever life offers me. I've been busy researching this blasted disease and reading tons of clinical studies to see what might be best for her. Both the radio oncologist and chemo oncologist will get to answer tons of questions and the list keeps growing. We see both of them next week. While treatable, glios are not curable and they are terminal. The caveat is how much time you can buy. The average life span is 14.6 months but we know a lot of folks that are close to or beyond their five year date and a couple that have exceeded fifteen years. So our fingers are crossed. There are some brand new treatment options available that are recently FDA approved. In fact, I emailed one of the manufacturers just before logging on to the forum. 

I know a lot of you have dealt with cancer in your immediate life. Either yourself, spouse or child. It's amazing how totally the disease can consume your life if you let it. You have to keep reminding yourself to maintain a reasonable balance and not make your life all about the disease. It's hard to do, though, especially at this stage. 

You guy and gals don't know how much you wishes and prayers mean. It has really been a shot in the arm to receive all your good wishes either by post or pm. It's genuinely appreciated. Thank you!

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## crashdive123

So saddened to hear this.  You, your wife and the entire family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

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## WolfVanZandt

You're right, Rick. And I've always impressed with how much attitude factors into survival. Of course, keeping up moral is often a huge order.

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## 1stimestar

If you need to let it consume you for a bit, go right ahead.  Really, if I had the opportunity with my husband, I would have been spending all my time not with him, doing all the research I could.  I have a friend whose mom was cured with THC oil.  I don't know the details but you might look into it.

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## Rick

We're mainstream medicine kind of folk but I'm not leaving any tool in the toolbox with this. Just between you, me and the gatepost it's on the list of questions for both the radio oncologist and chemo oncologist. Cannabanoid studies have shown some interesting results.

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## 1stimestar

> We're mainstream medicine kind of folk but I'm not leaving any tool in the toolbox with this. Just between you, me and the gatepost it's on the list of questions for both the radio oncologist and chemo oncologist. Cannabanoid studies have shown some interesting results.


Good.  Explore every avenue.

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## BornthatWay

My prayers for your wife and you and your family.  Every day new ideas come about for cancer so explore but take time to rejoice in each day.

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## Williepete

I'm so sorry to hear the bad news of what it turned out to be. Rick, you are just going have to keep a good outlook on things. There are so many new meds and things out that you two could try.  I had personal experience with I think that same thing back in 1962.  I have been trying to remember the exact name and can't.  A sure thing that I'm getting old.

Prayers and best wishes to both of you.

Bill

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## aflineman

Prayers sent

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## Phaedrus

> The caveat is how much time you can buy. The average life span is 14.6 months but we know a lot of folks that are close to or beyond their five year date and a couple that have exceeded fifteen years. So our fingers are crossed. There are some brand new treatment options available that are recently FDA approved. In fact, I emailed one of the manufacturers just before logging on to the forum. 
> 
> I know a lot of you have dealt with cancer in your immediate life. Either yourself, spouse or child. It's amazing how totally the disease can consume your life if you let it. You have to keep reminding yourself to maintain a reasonable balance and not make your life all about the disease. It's hard to do, though, especially at this stage.


That is a wise view!  I hope it doesn't come across as empty platitudes but so often we obsess over the quantity of life at the expense of quality.  When my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer he had half a lung removed.  The surgery apparently got it all and it never returned, but he had decided even before the results were in that he wasn't going to do chemo.  In his view he'd already had a good life, and more years than he'd expected.  He decided to enjoy what he had instead of destroying his health with chemo for the hope of a bit more time.  That's a hard calculus for anyone, especially someone staring down the barrel of a life threatening illness.  But in a sense we all face it, every day.  Every choice we make should be informed by a knowledge of how fragile and fleeting our lives our.  The love of family and friends is far more durable than the shell we inhabit while we're on this Earth.

I choose to hope so long as there's any chance at all.  But obviously, one has to acknowledge the odds and plan for any eventuality.  I certainly hope that it turns out to not be as bad as is feared. Barring that, hopefully present treatments can buy enough time for a better option to come along.

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## hayshaker

sorry to hear  my prayers to you and your wife
we,ve been there too.

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## Rick

> I hope it doesn't come across as empty platitudes




Not at all. My father made the same choice with lung cancer. His outcome was not as good unfortunately but the decision was his to make.

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## Rick

My wife lost her battle this afternoon. She passed away around 3:00 p.m. I don't know the exact cause of death but it was probably heart related. She was my best friend for 45 years. We were married 41. I already miss her terribly. If you want to do something for me then make a contribution to Make a Wish, your local library or plant a tree in her memory. 

I know I'll get through this. Everyone does. I have tried to prepare myself. It was a terminal illness but it happened much sooner than anyone expected. I'm just truly, truly thankful for the time we had together. 

I miss you, kid. I'll see you on the other side.

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## hunter63

Rick this is truly a sad surprise, and can't tell you how bad we feel for you and your family.
And as you say....much sooner than expected.

Please except our thoughts and prayers.............

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## edr730

I am sorry Rick..

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## DSJohnson

Prayers. Very very sorry for your loss. 


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## crashdive123

I am so, so sorry to hear this.  You and your family are in my prayers.

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## WolfVanZandt

I wish I couldsay something appropriate but I don't know what that would be. Just keep up the good fight, there's still a lot of good out here to conserve. God bless you and yours.

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## natertot

Rick, I have no words other than I will be praying for you and your family.  I cannot imagine what you are feeling. Just know that your WSF family is here if you need anything.

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## canid

I'm sorry for your loss, sir. I can't imagine what I would do if I lost my lady.

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## kyratshooter

Rick if you need anything send me a PM.  I mean that!  

The next couple of days will be a walking through a haze, but you will have family and friends around.  

It is after they leave that the shock wears off, reality sets in and the loss makes itself fully known that things get really difficult.  

Have someone to call or who can come stay with you for a while if you can. 

I woke up hearing my wife calling my name, and found myself walking into another room looking for her then realizing she was not there countless times.  It is at those times when the emptiness sets in and you might not want to talk, but you realize you really do not need to be alone.  

You may also notice health changes in yourself.  There are several stress related problems that are specific to these loss related issues.  If you start having problems of any kind do not hesitate to get yourself to the doctor.  I had to have several med adjustments soon after the wife passed and I have seen the same thing from others. 

Prayers are going up.

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## aflineman

I am sorry for your loss. Prayers sent for you.

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## pete lynch

So very sorry to hear of your wife's passing. Be sure to let your family and friends help you; it will help them, too.

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## LowKey

Rick, I'm so sorry to hear this. 
One foot in front of the other, man. One day at a time.
Keep your family and your friends close.
Praying for you and yours.

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## Pennsylvania Mike

Rick, I'm very sorry for your loss.   You and your family are in my prayers.

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## madmax

I will plant a tree for her and you.  

Tony

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## Seniorman

I am very sorry to hear of your loss, Rick, you're wife and best friend for so many years.

My wife and I send you and your family our condolences and prayers.

S.M.

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## hayshaker

rick so sorry for your loss

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## 2dumb2kwit

I wish we could take some of you pain away.  You and your family are in our prayers.

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## Ken

Rick, I'm so sorry to read this.  There are no words, but please know that we're all thinking about you, and that we're praying that the Lord comforts you and your family in every way possible.  If you need an ear or anything else, you can call anytime, 24/7.  God Bless you and your family, my friend.

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## Stargazer

I'm saddened to read about your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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## knife nut

So sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you and your family.

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## RangerXanatos

So sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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## Solar Geek

Oh Rick I am so deeply sorry for you. Many prayers will be raised for you and your family. My sincere condolences. SG

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## Phaedrus

I'm so sorry, Rick!  There just aren't any words.  I had hoped for a miracle as I'm sure everyone had.  It's my sincere belief that those we love don't truly die; they move into our hearts.  As long as you live a bit of her will live in your heart and soul.

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## Roel

You and your family are in our prayers Rick. We will plant a nice tree in our young forrest for your wife...

Roel and Anneke.

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## Mattkg

So sorry for your loss Rick

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## Batch

I am very sorry for your loss Rick.

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## Desert Rat!

Sad to hear this news Rick, sorry for your loss, a prayer sent for you and your family.

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## Winnie

Oh Rick, I'm so very sad hear your wife has passed. Please accept my condolences for you and the family.

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## randyt

Sorry for your loss Rick, God Bless

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## MrFixIt

Please accept my heartfelt condolences, praying for you and your family.

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## ClayPick

That's the kind of bad news you can't prepare for. Wishing you and your family all the best.

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## 1stimestar

My thoughts and prayers are with you Rick.  Please do ask for help of your friends and family when you need it

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## BENESSE

My dear Rick, I am sick at heart for you and your family. Too soon, not fair. 
Please accept my deepest condolences and heartfelt prayers.

_(meant to say "terrible news" in the headline...was too flustered to think)_

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## Rick

You folks are the best. You don't know how much all of the kind words and prayers mean to me. I guess we all have to face it at some time. She will be cremated and we are having her service this Saturday. She and I picked out the urn well before New Years and we had already received it so she knew what it looked like. It's a companion urn so when it's my time I'll be added with her and we'll spend eternity (or some portion thereof) together. Here's a pic of the urn. 

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

The urn will be housed inside in a niche room. This is sort of what it looks like. She will be behind glass. 

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

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## 1stimestar

Yes we all have to face it at some time.  Doesn't make it better though.  I would say I remember those days well but frankly, I have little memory of those first few days.  Too much fog that I don't really want to clear away.  Do you have kids?  I hope they are all there with you.  That is a beautiful urn and location to keep it.

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## nell67

Rick, I am so very sorry, my heart breaks for you. My oldest sons step-father in law passed unexpectedly on the 31st. his mother in law seems to be in limbo, not believing he is gone one minute, and overwhelming grief the next. Most of the time she just seems to be going through the motions of day to day activities. 

 She is somewhat comforted by knowing that he was an organ donor, so a part of him is living on in others. This spring, I will be planting a pawpaw tree in honor of your wife.

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## Winter

My condolences Rick.

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## Rick

Yes, 1st, I have three kids and five grand kids all around me so that's a huge comfort. Nell, my wife was also an organ donor but because of the cancer we couldn't fulfill that wish. A pawpaw tree would be awesome!! Thank you so much. I have two immature trees in the back yard. Those things take forever to grow but, hopefully, some day I'll be picking pawpaws.

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## natertot

Hey Rick, it is good to see you on here. I know it has been a few days and I was starting to get concerned for you. Despite the circumstances, it sounds like you are holding well. Stay close to the family and know that we are here for you to. Hang in there buddy.

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## BENESSE

That's a truly beautiful urn and it's nice that you picked it together. At most difficult times in life you get this incredible strength to deal with it and get through with grace and you and your wife had done it together. How lucky to have had 41 wonderful years side by side! That in itself is a blessing and a rarity these days. May it also be a comfort to you as you reflect back.

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## Rick

It is, B. I try not to feel cheated but count my lucky stars that we had 41 years. Given the cancer diagnosis I knew what she would have to endure and this, as bad as it is, prevented her from having to endure that. So I'm thankful for that, too. No matter how bad things are you just have to remember they could be worse and look for the positives. Sometimes they are so small they are hard to see and sometimes so few that you have trouble finding them but they are there and you have to grab them with both hands. 

Nater - I appreciate your concern. I will get through this. I'm not the first to lose a spouse and I won't be the last so I take inspiration from those I know that have been down this road. Kyrat's words were very welcome. 

Sometimes things are just so weird. We have an ornate candle set that normally sits on the dining room table. For the holidays my wife moved it. Yesterday I was tearing the house apart trying to figure out where the danged thing was. I finally said out loud, "Would you just give me a hint?" I then walked right to it. It was behind a chest in the corner tucked safely out of the way. All I could think to say was, Thanks.

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## hunter63

I was gonna mention the "looking for stuff thing".....that happens in every house I think.

Did it with my Dad, my Mother, MIL....and lately as I am trying to care for DW after her knee surgery....I am becoming painfully aware that I don't know where a LOT of stuff even IS....as I don't deal with a lot of it on a regular basis.  

I think they hide stuff on purpose.....
I feel your pain.....but she will let you know, in little flashes, how and where when you need it.
Hang in there.

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## jennlashua1973

I am truly sorry for your loss Rick.  I send you a cyber hug.  I am planting Lilacs this spring. I will pick a good strong one for your wife.  A heart attack took a good friend of mine three weeks ago.  She was like a second mother to me. I understand where you are good sir.

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## LowKey

Rick, I'm losing all my hemlock trees to woolly adelgid on a little knoll in my side yard and they will be coming down soon. I was just ordering a mixed lot of a dozen balsam fir, red pines and red cedars. When I replant in spring I will think of your wife, along with others.
From death, life.

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## Phaedrus

You speak with wisdom, Rick.  We're all creatures of a day and none of us knows how much time we have.  I try to look at each one- even the bad ones- as a gift.  I'm grateful for each day that I have with my loved one, and try to be patient with everyone (not my strongest suit!).  The urn is beautiful as is the display area.  Of course, she's not really there but in your heart.

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## natertot

> I think they hide stuff on purpose......


I couldn't agree more. One of many nicknames I have for Mrs. Tot is "lighting" because she never puts anything in the same spot twice!

With multiple people I know being recently effected by loss, I have taken inventory for the blessings in my life. The tot clan will continue to pray for you and your kin, Rick.

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## pgvoutdoors

Rick - My condolences go out to you and the family.  The two of you will be in my prayers, may God give you strength and comfort in your time of need.

Friends Always, PHIL

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## oldsoldier

Rick I apologize for being remiss in keeping up with what's going on. Just saw the update about your wife. My wife and I send you prayers and our deepest sympathy both to you and your family.

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## Rick

Her service was yesterday. It was standing room only with folks standing outside. That's entirely a testament to how much she was loved by everyone. Folks just sort of tolerate me. Everything went as planned and I was able to fulfill her final wishes. I was really pleased how well everything went and how many folks braved the rain to join us. It was a celebration of her life not a mourning of her loss. There was some great stories that were shared and a lot of laughter. She told us laughter was mandatory and we did our best to celebrate her. 

I miss her like crazy but this week I start to find out what the new normal for me is and what new adventures are in store for me. Hopefully, I can stay out of trouble. I'm running thin on folks willing to bail me out. 

My thanks to all of you for you prayers, kind words and best wishes. They truly mean more to me than you can know. 

Rick

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## hunter63

Most likely you have a months worth of casserole to eat up........
Seriously, glad you made it thru that difficult time .....be a while for a new normal....
Just get up in the morning.......do the best you can.

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## Solar Geek

Rick I don't know you but very seriously,

I will come bail you out, no questions asked. Do what you want. (PS. it is about a 9-10 hour drive so you would be stuck inside till then....)

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## crashdive123

Hey Rick.......we could always get in touch with HoosierArcher for you if you need to be bailed out.   :Innocent:

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## hunter63

Bhohahahaha....That was just cruel.......
Who's bailing who?

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## Wise Old Owl

Very sorry for your loss Rick ...The next couple of weeks will be hell make sure you keep up with the bills and such... its tough to be two parents.

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## Goose

Rick, so sorry to hear for your loss, my prayers are with you and family.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using Tapatalk

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## Rick

I am in the process of going through my wife's things and I'm finding that my memory is not what it used to be. Jewelry that we had given each other all the way back to high school. I remember a lot of it but was that for our 20th or 15th? Which one of these did she wear at that special occasion? I don't even remember this. Am I missing anything? Some of it is a real head scratcher. May I suggest you take the time to go through things with your significant other. Maybe even make notes if you have to. Especially if you have kids that you want to have certain things. There are no show stoppers for me but I have about a thousand questions I would sure like to ask her. Do it while you can still ask those questions.

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## hunter63

Good advice......
MM left a book with a lists of who gets what.....on the big stuff......
But the little personnel things are always the problem....as they get over looked easily.

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## Old Professor

Just saw this thread, as I spent too many weeks in the hospital my self from an accident back in August. My prayers are with you and your family. I am a cancer survivor and I know the prayers others offered were a comfort. Keep your chin up and set a good role model for your children. Know that she will be waiting when you cross over.

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## Faiaoga

I hope you keep going one day at a time  and keep being grateful for being able to enjoy each day :Clover:

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## Rick

Oh, I do. I cherish every day. But this exile we call life is merely a very very short step on the way to our final destination. Her death is a short separation, not an ending.

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## 1stimestar

> I am in the process of going through my wife's things and I'm finding that my memory is not what it used to be. Jewelry that we had given each other all the way back to high school. I remember a lot of it but was that for our 20th or 15th? Which one of these did she wear at that special occasion? I don't even remember this. Am I missing anything? Some of it is a real head scratcher. May I suggest you take the time to go through things with your significant other. Maybe even make notes if you have to. Especially if you have kids that you want to have certain things. There are no show stoppers for me but I have about a thousand questions I would sure like to ask her. Do it while you can still ask those questions.


Yes, one of the things I miss most is that he was the only other person in the world who knew XYZ.  Mostly my questions are about the places we traveled as we did a lot of that.  Hey honey, were was that place that we saw the xyz?  Where were we when we went on that one hike? etc.  Glad her service went well and was well attended.  I know that made me feel good inside.

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